Interview with Natalie Syrmopoulos, conscious parenting coach and founder of Evolving With Natalie. Natalie talks candidly about the challenges of parenting, “gladiator kids,” and how we can step into an awakened parenting style using the four pillars of Awareness, Acceptance, Acknowledgment and Accountability.

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The Challenges of Parenting

This episode is dedicated to all the mothers out there who question their parenting abilities and desire to evolve and improve their connection with their children.

So if you want to build your parenting skills while evolving into the best version of yourself, this episode is for you. Natalie Syrmopoulos is a parenting coach who knows all too well the challenges of parenthood.

She's here to tell us that it's normal to question our abilities as parents and to wonder if we are doing things right. Countless parents butt heads with their kids and feel like they're failures and that they are alone in that.

In reality, most of us were brought up with a fear-based parenting model. However, parenting styles have evolved a lot in the past few decades.

Natalie explains that many of us must reparent ourselves when we ourselves become parents. Particularly if we were brought up with a fear-based parenting style.

From struggling parent to helping other parents

Natalie Syrmopoulos says that for years she struggled in raising her “gladiator” daughter.

(A gladiator child is a term coined by parenting expert, Jennifer Kolari, that refers to kids who are defiant, feisty and know exactly what they want. In the past, these kids were labeled as stubborn or having oppositional defiant disorder or perhaps ADD.)

In any case, Natalie says she was struggling to connect with her daughter and she realized the disciplinary techniques her parents had used with her were simply not working with her daughter. To top things off, she was diagnosed with thyroid cancer.

In that crucial time of her life, she realized she needed to make a sustainable shift in her lifestyle and transform her parenting style. So she started reaching out, seeking help and learning all about conscious parenting techniques.

Now she's paying it forward by coaching and teaching all the skills that helped her create a sustainable shift in her parenting that allowed for a deep connection with her children. It's not about implementing “band aid solutions” or “fix it strategies that don't work”.

It's about bonding with our children and doing what Natalie Syrmopoulos calls “front loading”–enrolling our children, encouraging them, and creating a space for emotionally courageous conversations.

In this way, we are doing the important work upfront rather than having to continuously repair the parent-child relationship post quarrels.

The Four Pillars of Awakened Parenting Begins with Awareness

Natalie Syrmopolous says that “awakened parenting” or “conscious parenting” begins with awareness.

With awareness Natalie refers to being present to what's happening and observing our emotions as different situations or struggles arise in our parenting.

For example, when our kids act in a manner we perceive as rude and disrespectful we might fall into the trap of reacting swiftly from a place of anger. Instead, if we can learn to be fully present, step back in the moment when anger arises, and notice our internal dialogue, we can distance ourselves from the initial emotion and react from a more neutral place.

In the midst of altercations with our kids, we can ask ourselves: Why am I getting angry? What are all the stories going thru my head?

As we navigate thru the various arguments the important thing is to pause and be aware of our emotions. This doesn't mean ignoring the feelings or suppressing our emotions. On the contrary, it is a way of honouring the emotions by being fully present.

This is the moment to ask ourselves: Where in my body do I feel the anger?

This awareness and observation creates space between the emotion and ourself so we can decide more clearly what emotions we want to step into.

In the past, we may have noticed that disciplining from a place of anger fuels our child's anger and our desired message does not land effectively.

Natalie Syrmopolous says that when we discipline our kids we should strive to come from a place of neutrality. Neutrality allows for us to act in more rational ways and it also models the right behaviour to our children.

Pillars 2 & 3 : Acceptance and Acknowledgement

After creating awareness we must learn to accept what is so.

In this second step we are called to forgive both our children and ourselves with regards to where things went wrong for either party.

Natalie Syrmopolous says that here we are called to develop a deep level of compassion so that we can let go of the shame and guilt.

The thirds pillar of conscious parenting is acknowledgement. In this step we learn to recognize our wins and our losses. In other words, we examine where we went wrong and where we got it right.

It's the moment to learn for the mistakes and successes of the past so we know better for the future.

Pillar 4 of Awakened Parenting: Accountability

In this final pillar of awakened parenting we are asked to take full accountability for our actions as parents. We also recognize that we only have control over OUR actions, and therefore, it is there where we need to focus on improving.

Miraculously, as we become more conscious and responsible individuals, so do our children.

The realization that our children are our mirrors is eye-opening. Normally, we fall short where they fall short. Essentially, we cannot give away what we don't possess.

Conscious parenting, Natalie Syrmopoulos says, is about creating a bandwidth for emotional resilience. This is challenging because most of us were not taught these skills as children ourselves.

One of my biggest takeaways from this episode, is that we are no longer in the era of “children should be seen and not heard”.

Conscious parenting requires that we be responsive and meet our children where they are. It's also a shift towards reinforcing their positive behaviour rather than emphasizing their shortcomings.

Honouring the Spirit of Our Children

After listening to this week's episode tell me: What is your biggest challenge and concern with regards to parenting? Do you practice conscious parenting?

Write your thoughts and takeaways on the comments below. 👇🏾👇🏻👇🏿👇🏽

Be sure to follow Natalie Syrmopoulos on IG @evolvingwithnatalie

Check out Natalie's website here.

Oh, and check out the bestselling book we both coauthored, Ignite Love.

Remember, don't be a mama con drama. Let's be Mamas Con Ganas!

Xoxo,

Valentina

#inspiredmamacita

P.S. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to listen to these as well:

Overcoming Anxiety: One Mom's Journey.

The Power of Accountability

Actionable Tips on How to Break the Cycle of Racism