This week's podcast in English is all about the power of language and how the meaning we attribute to our experiences determines the emotions we feel on a consistent basis. This episode is the culmination of our three part series on the art of transforming negative emotions into positive ones. In this three part series, I examine three simple shifts you can to make in order to experience more joy and fulfillment.

This series is inspired by Tony Robbins’ 4 day workshop, Unleash the Power Within. During this workshop, Tony introduces you to the concept of emotional mastery. Emotional mastery is the process of becoming aware and learning to direct your emotional state thru the power of physiology, the power of focus and the power of language. In essence, you learn how to identify your feelings, acknowledge them, and then take the appropriate actions to cultivate more positive emotions.

Why is this important? Because, as we discussed in part 1 and part 2 of our series, the emotions we gravitate to on a consistent basis are directly correlated to the quality of our life. Meaning, the more joy and gratitude we feel on a daily basis the more we’ll define our life as meaningful and fulfilling. In contrast, the more regularly we experience anger or resentment, for example, the more we’ll define our life as unfulfilling.

Developing the mindset for emotional mastery

When we practice emotional mastery, we decide to take more accountability for our emotions— no matter what life is throwing at us. Emotional mastery requires that we shift our mindset–open our minds to the concept that our emotions are our responsibility.

Now, we understand that we may still experience negative emotions on occasion. We’re human, no doubt. And we may also admit that it may be harder to feel good when we go thru challenges.

But, and this is a HUGE but, we refuse to be at the mercy of our experiences and our thoughts. In other words, we refuse to play the victim of our circumstances. We commit to empowering ourselves and not allow ourselves to linger in darkness or despair for long. 

In short, we learn to snap out of it, switch the channel, or cross the bridge to a more positive emotion.

The 3 Forces that control our emotions

We have the power within us to shift our negative emotions. We can practice letting go of debilitating emotions–those that don't serve us like hopelessness and jealousy. Moreover, we have the ability to transform those useless feelings into something positive.

Don't get fooled into thinking that you are the victim of your circumstances or that your emotions are only the result of what happens to you. Learn to see your negative emotions as red flags for change and a calling for action.

A calling to change one, two, or all three of the following:

1. Change your physiology
2. Change your focus
3. Change your language

In a nutshell, there is power in the way you move your physical body, there is power in what you decide to focus on, and there is power in the language you choose to describe your circumstances.

Now, if you’re reading this and you have not yet listened to part 1 or part 2, I really suggest you go back and listen to those episodes first. They are the building blocks to this series.

Before understanding the power of language, get this:

The three forces that control your emotions are: physiology, focus, and language.

Hence, Part 1 was all about the power of physiology and how the way we move our physical body greatly impacts our emotions. I spoke about the real connection between our breath, posture, movement and our emotions. I also talked about ways you can immediately shift your physical body to change your state.

However, as powerful as shifting your physiology can be, this is only one piece of the puzzle. There are two other forces that contribute to the way you feel. 

Consequently, Part 2 was all about the power of focus. This is the second force that controls our emotions. I went over how what you focus on, you will feel. Or as Tony Robbins likes to put it, where focus goes, energy flows. I also explained that whatever has your attention, is where your focus lies. This implies that any content we consume has our focus. Therefore, we must be very intentional about what we give our attention to.

Remember, the way we move our body and our pattern of focus are not the only things that control our emotions. There is still one piece of the puzzle left. If you are able to influence the two elements mentioned above and also put one final step into practice… I guarantee your “life will never be the same again”.

Part 3: Transforming Negative Emotions thru the power of language

In this part 3 of our podcast series on transforming negative emotions into positive ones I delve into the power of language and meaning. This is the third force that controls your emotions.

Memorize this next line if you must: the meaning you give to the situations in your life determines whether you are happy or miserable.

And what do you use to communicate the meaning something has for you? You use language. So becoming very intentional with the pattern of your language is of utmost importance. In fact, it's paramount, essential, vital, urgent, necessary, critical, indispensable. Have I stressed it enough?

Perhaps you think I’m being melodramatic with regards to the power of language, so let me expand.

Interpretion is everything

Two people may go through the same experience but internalize it in totally different ways. This, in turn, determines whether they feel either empowered or disempowered in the aftermath. 

To further explain, let me give a more concrete example. Let’s suppose two women get laid off from work. For simplistic purposes let’s say they are the same age, are in the same financial situation and carry the same amount of economical responsibilities. In fact, pretend they're clones.

Woman one, while still dealing with intense fear and stress interprets getting laid off as a blessing in disguise. She tells herself, convinces herself even, that everything happens for a reason. Moreover, she interprets this as a moment to grow in her faith for God. She tells herself repeatedly that a better opportunity will present itself in the future. She thinks: not only will things be alright, but that ultimately, things will unravel for the better.

You probably know where I’m headed…

Woman two, HOWEVER, also dealing with intense fear and stress  interprets getting laid off as a punishment from God or as proof that God does not exist. She sees this moment in time as a testament that her life is doomed. She tells herself she’s too old and that she’ll never find another job with the retirement package she once had. In essence, she thinks she’s screwed. 

Same experience, two interpretations… one will result in hope, the other in despair.

Can you see how we communicate our interpretations thru the language we chose to use? Do you see the power of language in the example I just shared?

Whether you think you can, or you think you can't: you're right!

Your life is in the present and will become in the future whatever meaning you attribute to it.

Oprah said it best: You become what you believe.

The meaning or the belief system you attach to something is everything!

Meaning equals emotion. An empowering meaning results in an empowering emotion and a disempowering meaning results in a disempowering emotion.

Hence, the language you use can empower or disempower you as well because we express meaning thru our language.

So, if you’re experiencing something really painful and difficult right now, open up yourself to the possibility that you could change the meaning you are giving to the experience. 

Do you believe everything happens for a reason? Do you believe in a God or divine order? Or, do you believe the world is chaotic and meaningless?

Whatever you choose to believe, just know this belief system has a lot of power over you, so much so in fact, that it will determine whether you feel hopeful or hopeless.

Power of meaning: Drama or Ganas?

I hope you're having an aha moment right about now because this is truly powerful stuff. The meaning you give to your experiences will determine whether you attract more drama or more drive (ganas as I like to put it).

If you need other examples, make sure to listen to this podcast episode. In it I share my personal story of how I transformed my divorce from curse to blessing. Hint: it was all about how I interpreted my experience.

You have the power as well–the power to turn your dramas into your drive, into your fuel, and into your real-life super powers.

All around the world I see women doing this–women who lose their jobs and decide to risk it and build their own businesses. I see women who overcome or are fighting cancer and use it to help, empower and inspire other women going thru the same thing. I see women who were abused and are now helping the abused.

The stories are infinite and I see them all around me because it is what I chose to FOCUS on. It’s never what we go thru, but rather how we interpret the meaning of our experiences, that matters. We are the ones that get to define our lives by the meanings we create.

I can't emphasize this enough: whatever belief system you decide to adopt, make sure it’s an empowering one.

How to change the meaning of something

One of the most powerful questions we can ask ourselves when we are confronted with something very challenging is:

What would I have to believe in order for me to see this as a blessing?

That’s right: What would I have to believe in order for me to see this challenging situation as a blessing?

This is the first step in helping us change the meaning of something.

And again, how do we express the meaning of something? By the language we use. Language, as I mentioned earlier, is the 3rd force that controls our feelings.

So we must use the power of langauage. It’s very different to say “I got laid off because bad things always happen to me” versus “I lost my job because something better is waiting for me”.

And hey, sometimes you have to fake it till you make it. If you realize that the meaning you have created for an experience is not working in your favor, you can change the language you use to describe the experience, although you might not quite believe in the new empowering interpretation yet.  

A shift in language equals a shift in perspective

Whether you call them affirmations or auto suggestions, doesn't matter. The idea is that you can change your language to progressively change your interpretation. A shift in language is a sign of a shift in perspective. Of course, you have to be careful not to fall back into your old pattern of language. You have to create a new pattern of language until this pattern becomes your default.

You have to repeat the meaning you want to give something to the point where you finally believe it. Because remember, we are the ones who chose the meanings we associate to anything. 

A very interesting thing happens as soon as you start telling yourself a different story. Your mind will look for proof to validate your story. Meaning, you’ll start noticing proof all around you that you’re right. So again, beware of the belief systems you decide to adopt. No matter what you decide to believe, your mind will help you prove that you're right.

Your challenge: Use the power of language and meaning

Close your eyes and think of a painful or negative experience from your past. What disempowering meaning have you attached to this experience?

Ask yourself: What would I have to believe in order for me to see this as a blessing?

I challenge you to shift those meanings that you are attaching to experiences that make you feel disempowered. I challenge you to adopt empowering meanings so you can perform emotional alchemy for yourself and create a life with more joy and fulfillment. 

Notice how I went beyond just an emotion. Because the meaning you attach to your stories can shift not just an emotion but an entire way of looking at the world! So of course this automatically brings you more joy, enthusiasm, hope, love, peace, gratitude and all that is good. It's like a domino effect.

Emotional Gym

Now, like many things in life, the concepts in this three part podcast series are simple. But notice I didn’t say easy. Taking control of your emotions is like a muscle you need to work out in the gym. You have to work at it regularly for it to get stronger. Plus, you have to do it with intention. Because, if you don’t intentionally monitor your emotions, you’ll be at the mercy of the things that happen to you. And let's face it, life isn't always a walk in the park.

So, will you commit to practicing emotional mastery?

Remember, if you decided to take on emotional alchemy you’ve decided to adopt the belief that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. 

Don’t forget:

1. Move your body in the right way
2. Focus on the right thing
3. Use the right language.

Don't be a mama con drama. Let's be Mamas Con Ganas!

Are you walking away with any insights?

Share your takeaways in the comments below and make sure to share this podcast with those you love.

Xoxo,

Valentina

(The #inspiredmamacita)