This week's podcast in English deals with the topic of focus and how your pattern of focus tremendously influences the feelings you experience on a regular basis. It is the second of a three part series about the art of transforming negative emotions into positive ones. In this three part series, I explore the three things you need to shift in your life in order to experience more fulfillment and joy.

We’re delving into the world of emotional mastery— how to control and redirect your emotions. I personally like to call it emotional alchemy. Why do I call this process emotional alchemy? Well, because when we practice emotional mastery we are actually transforming a useless emotion into something priceless. For example, how priceless is the ability to turn anger into gratitude? It’s like turning lead into gold!

The correlation between our emotions and the quality of our life

The emotions we experience regularly from day to day are directly correlated to our quality of life. Meaning, the more we experience feelings of joy, enthusiasm, or gratitude, for example, the more we identify with having a fulfilling life.

I believe we all know this at a subconscious level, but how many of us actually analyze the relationship between emotion and fulfillment in our lives? Furthermore, how many of us believe we have the power within ourselves to dictate our feelings?

Yet, having mastery of our feelings is what will empower us to dramatically enrich our lives from within because we are aligning with joy.

Emotional Mastery

My journey into emotional mastery began two years ago when I first attended Unleash the Power Within. UPW is a weekend workshop hosted by the iconic Tony Robbins. I attended it again this past April and I have to say, that the information I gain from this seminar each time I go impacts my life in a very positive way. It is the inspiration for this three part series.

As discussed in part 1 of how to transform negative emotions into positive ones, the genesis of all emotion is influenced by three forces: physiology, focus and language. In this post, we are zooming in on the power of focus.

Please understand that emotional mastery does not mean you’ll never experience negative emotions again. Nonetheless, this does not take away from the value of its practice. In fact, emotional mastery is very useful and powerful precisely when were are feeling down. It allows us to start becoming the observer of our emotions. This is crucial in order to break our patterns–the patterns that got us to feeling crappy in the first place.

Only after we have removed ourselves from the drama, can we begin the alchemy of transforming our negative emotions.

Become Intentional With Your Pattern of Focus

One of the most powerful things you can do to redirect your emotions and shift your mood is to intentionally choose your pattern of focus. Perhaps you are familiar with Tony Robbins' famous quote: Where focus goes, energy flows. This means that whatever we focus on expands and intensifies. In essence, we give life and power to whatever we focus on.

It is IMPERATIVE to be extremely mindful of what we decide to focus on.

Whatever You Focus On, You Will Feel

Focus on something negative and the result is a negative emotion. On the flip side, focus on something positive, and the result is a positive emotion. Simply put, whatever you focus on, you will feel.

Does this mean that we stick our heads in the sand? Absolutely not! However, this does mean that when confronted with less than ideal circumstances, we focus on the solution rather than the problem.

Learning to shift focus is simple, mamacita, but notice I don’t say it’s easy. Simple, yes. Easy, not so much. It can be accomplished, nevertheless. Like anything else, it takes lots of practice and unrelenting desire.

Step One: Observing Your Pattern of Focus

First, you have to consciously train your mind to be more aware of your thought pattern. Stop yourself in your tracks when you’re feeling down and then become the observer of your emotions. Observe what you are focusing on at any given moment when confronted with strong emotions, wether positive or negative.

Intentionally analyzing your pattern of focus is very powerful because you'll learn what thoughts trigger joy and gratitude versus anger and hopelessness.

Step 2: Shifting Focus

Once you have identified the pattern of focus that got you into a lousy state, you must now switch the channel. Literally, take the control remote of your mind and switch the station…. from horror flick to comedy channel. It’s quite a powerful exercise and you’ll get better at it the more you practice. 

What if we get stuck?

What if we don't know what to change our focus to?

Since we tend to forget everything positive when feeling down, we need to have a bucketful of happy memories at our calling. We must make a list. That's right! We need to do personal inventory and make a list of our happy memories and empowering thoughts. In this way, we have them in the forefront of our mind when we are in desperate need of a happy channel.

Meditation as a Tool for Emotional Mastery

Interestingly enough, one very powerful tool for learning to observe your emotions is meditation. I recently took an online meditation course with Criss Cuervo, founder of Alma Y Espíritu. It was a 5 week beginner’s course on meditation.

One of the things I learnt is that meditation allows you to observe your emotions from above. This, in turn, allows you detach yourself from your emotions and realize that you are not your emotions. Consequently, we realize we are not anger or sadness. What's more, we are not even joy or excitement.

Once detached from our emotions, we can surrender those emotions– let them go. This brings us back to the present moment. In addition, it gives us more clarity. The result is the ability to deal with stressful situations without feeling completely overwhelmed.

Your Pattern of Focus is Your Choice

Hence, the next time you are consumed with a negative emotion, ask yourself: What am I focusing on? Then ask yourself: What could I focus on instead?

If you’re stuck in deciding what to focus on, I’ll give you a little life hack or trick to use. Simply ask yourself this: What am I grateful for right now? Right now, what could I be grateful for? 


There is no place for anger, or any other negative emotions for that matter, where gratitude abides. Remembering our blessings is the fastest and quickest way to snap out of our despair.

And if for some reason you can’t think of a blessing, ask yourself this: What do I have right now that I would be devastated to lose? 

Focus on Your Blessings in the Midst of Your Despair

The happiest people in the world are the people who are grateful for the small things others take for granted, those who are aware of the frailty of life and so they chose to focus on the positive things around them.

One of the best examples that I’ve come across is the story of Alice Herz Sommer— the second oldest holocaust survivor who died at the age of 110 in 2014. 

Her life story is truly remarkable. I invite you to look her up because her story will surely inspire you to look at gratitude from a whole new perspective. Her husband and parents were murdered in the concentration camps and yet she remained optimistic throughout her life.

In various interviews, Alice disclosed the secret to her unflinching optimistism despite the tragedies she had endured. She expressed: “I look at the good. When you are relaxed, your body is always relaxed. When you are pessimistic, your body behaves in an unnatural way. It is up to us whether we look at the good or the bad.”

She instinctively knew the recipe to transforming negative emotions into positive ones: focusing on the good and living with unshakable gratitude.

Click here to see for yourself how she found a “Garden of Eden in Hell.”

It's Your Turn to Practice Emotional Mastery

So are you going to make your list of happy thoughts, memories and blessings? Will you commit to observe where your focus lies from moment to moment and then intentionally shift your focus to positive things if needed?

I guarantee, that if you do, you will profoundly increase the quality of your life, mamacita. You will produce emotional alchemy because you will replace your anger and sadness with something far more valuable than 24k gold: gratitude and joy.

Now don't keep this 24 Karat Gold information to yourself. Share this podcast with the people you love. Also, don't forget to leave me a comment with your insights and takeaways below.

Remember, don't be mama con drama. Let's be Mamas Con Ganas!

Xoxo,

Valentina

(The #inspiredmamacita)